1
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I am coming from Kenya.

2
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I am visiting the UK.

3
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,960
And I have come
to visit Buckingham Palace

4
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because I do understand
it has got a lot of history.

5
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Anyone from the Commonwealth
will just come here

6
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,960
and visit, and see for himself

7
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,960
how pretty the building is.

8
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,960
Wow!

9
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The British royal family.
Yeah?

10
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,960
What do they do?

11
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,960
I've no idea about royals.
I mean, who are they?

12
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,960
You're really working hard on this!

13
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,480
(How can I make him understand?)

14
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Ethelred the Unready was the first
king of England, wasn't he?

15
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And then there was the Vikings.
1066, wasn't it?

16
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1066 was the year of three kings.

17
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There was Harold...

18
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,960
Harold I, William the Conqueror
and somebody in between.

19
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Yeah, but there was a Norwegian...

20
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,960
One of 'em was Norwegian.

21
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Came from Norway.
Was he?

22
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I don't know. I mean, like,

23
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:21,960
the family at the moment has got
German descendancy, hasn't it?

24
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How do they get German descendancy?

25
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,800
I think it's because of somebody
was German.

26
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Hmm. Dunno.

27
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,960
All I know is Prince Charles
and I know the Queen.

28
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And her husband.

29
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A gentleman with big ears.

30
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What's his name?

31
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King Elizabeth III or something!

32
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King the Husband of the Queen.

33
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His real name is
the Husband of the Queen.

34
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Yeah? His first name is The Husband,
the family name is Queen.

35
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He's got big ears

36
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,960
and he always sort of...
looks like that, you know.

37
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Closes his eyes, going,
"Yes-yes-yes..."

38
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,960
What do you know... Do you know
anything about the royal family?

39
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Yes! Yes! Yes! Erm...

40
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Some's got a dog and a ferret.

41
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,960
(CACKLES)

42
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,960
(CACKLES)

43
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,000
(AMERICAN) Well, my name is Cliff.

44
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,960
This is my first trip to the UK.

45
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,960
Erm...

46
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,960
I'm immensely enjoying myself.

47
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,000
I came by here... Buckie - Buck -

48
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Listen to me! -

49
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,320
Buckingham Palace.

50
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,960
I'm going to try to make it tomorrow
early

51
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,960
so I can get a nice vantage point

52
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,160
to appreciate
the Changing of the Guards.

53
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,960
(POSH MAN) There are
in the Royal Collection

54
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,960
some extraordinary things.

55
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,320
And if you look at Titian,
for example,

56
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,960
we very often find that,

57
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,960
over in some neglected corner,

58
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there is a picture of a dog.

59
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Wonderful.

60
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,960
Where I come from, joking about
royals is not a funny thing.

61
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,960
You know, people go to prison,

62
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,960
they get locked up,

63
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they get tortured, they get killed,

64
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they get disappeared,
they have sex changes.

65
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They do many nasty things to them

66
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because they talked about royals.

67
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I think I'd better keep quiet.

68
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,960
I don't know. I don't like...

69
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,960
I think it should -

70
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,960
I think it should be slimmed down
a little bit. Streamlined.

71
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,320
Slimmed down a little bit?
A lot, in fact.

72
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,960
I'd like to see Prince Andrew
get a proper job. Proper job!

73
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,960
I'd like to see 'em ALL
get a proper job for a change.

74
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,320
I think the immediate family -
I think the Queen -

75
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,480
In ASDA.

76
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,640
Oh, no, no, no, no. I think -

77
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There's always a queen for the day!

78
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(ENGLISH COUNTRY ACCENT)
I met Princess Margaret.

79
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I did meet Princess Margaret.

80
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And she were a lovely
young woman at that time.

81
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,640
She went off to the toilet,
and as she went to the toilet,

82
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,960
she waved to the crowd
like they do wave,

83
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,960
and I thought, well, that's the
funniest thing I've ever seen.

84
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,960
The...the...

85
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,960
Royal Collection is subject

86
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,960
to the same sort of...

87
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,960
hazards...

88
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,960
as anything that is exhibited...

89
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,960
Um... the...

90
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,960
Yes. I don't think we'll
go into that any further.

91
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,960
(INDIAN ACCENT) We were fascinated
by the whole family,

92
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,960
because, like I told you,

93
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,960
sitting so far away, being
such a tiny little island.

94
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,960
And here they were
ruling us for 200 years.

95
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,960
It has been...

96
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,960
really surprising.

97
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,960
And have you managed
to see the Queen?

98
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,960
Yeah, we saw her at Madame
Tussaud's.

99
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,800
(ELDERLY MATRON)
Things have changed over the years.

100
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,960
They've got worse. There's more
robbings and muggings now

101
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,960
than there ever was.

102
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,480
Well, that's not to do
with the royal family.

103
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,160
Have you seen the Queen
on television just lately?

104
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,320
Yes.

105
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,480
Do you like her hats now?

106
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,960
No.
Hm.

107
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,960
I like the colours they choose
in the royal family.

108
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,000
And the fabrics.
I don't like the cuts!

109
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,160
(LAUGHS)

110
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,320
I know they're not allowed
to wear really funky stuff

111
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,480
cos they're a royal family.

112
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,640
But you know, why not?

113
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,960
You know, give 'em
a bit of a funky look.

114
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,960
Layering is quite fashionable.

115
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,960
Why not the royal family
does layering?

116
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,960
Like wear a T-shirt
on top of a shirt?

117
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,960
It's quite fashionable, you know,

118
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,960
with writings on it, like,

119
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"God Save Us for the nation."

120
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(GEORDIE ACCENT)

121
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Oh, yeah!

122
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,640


123
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,800


124
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shall be slaves

125
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,960


126
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,960
As you sing it,
you can feel your fists tightening,

127
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,960
the hackles on your neck stand up,

128
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,960
and you get more and more forceful
and sort of...vehement.

129
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,960
Could you just ask her

130
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,960
what she thinks of Buckingham Palace
now she's seen it herself?

131
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,960
(FAR EASTERN LANGUAGE)

132
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,960
Yeah ha.

133
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,960
She say it's wonderful,
it's fantastic.

134
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,960
You know, fabulous, very good.

135
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,160


136
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,320


137
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,960

shall be slaves

138
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,640
And it's like you feel
your fists clenching,

139
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,800
and you want to bash somebody.

140
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,960
Because we're British,

141
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,960
and anybody tries anything,

142
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we'll knock them oot!
That's it, just knock them oot!

143
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,960
Well, I'm a Geordie anyway,
but I'm still British. Champion.

144
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,960
(CACKLING)

145
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,960
Who's the Queen, then?

146
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,960
You!

147
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:37,960
(CACKLES)

148
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,960
What I notice is that when I watch
old documentaries about the Queen,

149
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,960
and the new documentaries,

150
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,960
her accent has changed.

151
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,960
She's more, you know...

152
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,960
Before it was like, "Haw, la la la!"

153
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,960
But these days it's more like,
"Hey, heh heh heh!"

154
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,960
So it's more like,
you know, street language,

155
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960
as if she's rapping.

156
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,960
The Queen? I think she
is an absolute gem.

157
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,160
She's done so much for this country.

158
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,320
And, um...

159
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,480
Prince Philip, I think, in his way,

160
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,640
although he shoots people
in the foot occasionally,

161
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,960
I think he means well, as well.

162
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,960
Charles, I think they ought
to put him in a kennel.

163
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,960
(WELL-SPOKEN WOMAN)
He's very spiritual.

164
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,960
If you listen to him and really
take notice of what he's saying

165
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,960
instead of all this propaganda
that's out there about him,

166
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,960
he's a very interesting man.

167
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,960
What - Charlie?
Yeah. Really?

168
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,320
Yeah, he really is.
(CHUCKLES)

169
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,480
Yeah...

170
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,640
I...

171
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,800
I think the best thing you could do

172
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,960
is put them all on their boat
and cast 'em off,

173
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,480
and say "Go and find someone else
to plague rather than us."

174
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That's the best thing.

175
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,800
Put 'em on the boat and say,

176
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,960
"Off you go!

177
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,800
Probably someone else round here
would love a royal,

178
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,960
but we don't need one.

179
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,960
So off you go."

180
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,000
Oh, I love 'em.
Hmm.

181
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,960
We mustn't get rid of them,
whatever happens.

182
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960
It's our mainstay.

183
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,000
It's...

184
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,160
it's a wonderful thing to have them.

185
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,320
All of them.

186
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,480
Good, bad and indifferent.

187
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,800
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com

188
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,640
Everything in here's lockable.

189
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,960
Doors all lockable.
Windows all lockable.

190
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Bloody disgraceful, innit?

191
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,960
Absolutely bloody disgraceful.

192
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Hello?

193
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